One of the great tragedies of Western culture is that we have equated love with warm emotional feelings. In fact, these warm romantic feelings are the result of love, not the essence of love. With over 10 million copies sold, this book by author Gary Chapman has already transformed countless relationships.
Order your copy of this inspiring book now! In the early days of my marriage, my wife and I were fairly miserable. We both wondered if we had married the wrong person. I knew what He said was true.
God gave me a new perspective. The problem was not her but my attitude.
With all of my study in Greek, Hebrew and theology, I missed the whole point of love. Please give me the attitude of Christ toward my wife. Let me see her as one whom You love, and let me be Your agent for loving her. In retrospect, it was the greatest prayer I have ever prayed regarding my marriage because God changed my attitude.
I was no longer waiting for warm feelings; I was choosing to love her as Christ loved His disciples.
I asked my wife three questions:. Her answers led my behavior. When I started serving her as Christ served His disciples, her attitude toward me changed. It did not happen overnight, but within three months, she started asking me those same questions. My behavior had touched her heart, and her attitude and behavior had changed. First John says that we love because God loved us first.
Love stimulates love. Some say love is an act of benevolence. That is not totally true. People can do a beneficial action with an unloving attitude. The husband who mows the grass simply because his wife has been nagging him for weeks is doing a kind act, but it may be done to silence her critical words.
The wife who agrees to be sexually intimate with her husband simply out of a sense of duty or guilt is not performing an act of love, either. Love is the choice to cooperate with God in serving your spouse.
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For them, love is a way of life. They are constantly looking for ways to help, encourage and support the partner. Such love often stimulates warm, romantic feelings in the heart of the spouse. Emotions are the icing on the cake. But without a loving attitude and appropriate behavior, the icing will melt. A man I spoke of in the first part of this series, the one who sat in my office complaining that he did not love his wife, eventually discovered the biblical concept of love. And with the help of God, he committed himself to loving his wife.
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His wife reciprocated his love, and their marriage was reborn. I have seen this happen hundreds of times over the past 35 years as I have counseled couples.
It can also happen in your marriage. God wants to use you in your marriage.
Ask Him to give you a loving attitude toward your spouse and to pour out His love through you. It is a prayer God will answer. Call Store. How to Truly Love Your Spouse. The gift of the Atonement gives us the hope of eternal life—something we need when we suffer trials or the death of a loved one.
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Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency. During a recent general conference, Elder Andersen shared a story about a Laurel who was ridiculed and called names for standing up for traditional marriage. We do so by:.
He alone touches our tortured souls with His comforting words. Through His Atonement, He leads us to love. Through His teachings, He leads us to eternal truths. Through His perfect life, He leads us to the path of obedience. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
When we understand that the Savior makes possible repentance and resurrection, teaches vital truths, offers hope and peace, and sets the perfect example, He becomes the center of our lives. And with Him as our friend, we have the courage to cast out fear and move forward with faith. Why is Jesus Christ important in your life? Share your experience with other youth by commenting below. This article originally appeared in the January New Era. Error in form submission. Make sure all field are filled out properly and try again.
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